I sucked at love.

You see, by that admittedly young age, I had already made enough mistakes—and been crushed by enough women—to believe that relationships just weren’t for me. Ok, if we’re being fair, I screwed up my fair share too.

I had already been engaged, and watched that relationship wither away in the most brutal of fashion. I tried dating multiple women at the same time, only to have them discover what I was doing and make me feel the wrath of their anger. And I’ve been cheated on over…and over again. (At one point, I had a streak of 4 straight relationships filled with infidelity. It got to the point that I legitimately wondered if I my true purpose was pushing women towards other men.)

I come from a loving family. My parents have been married for 38 years, and I felt like I knew what to look for in a significant other. I met enough of the wrong women to know what was right.

And yet, I was convinced that I shouldn’t be in a relationship or know how to be a good boyfriend.

If this sounds overly dramatic, you’re right. I was painfully delusional but it felt real to me and it was my universe. Relationships and me: Just not going to happen.

I was young and bitter. My mindset shaped by lots of attempts that never resulted in what I wanted. It wasn’t even that I wanted marriage—I just didn’t want things to end in disaster.

You see, I’d try everything: date different types of women, take it slow, move it fast, try the advice of my friends. None of it worked. The goals shifted but the results were the same: failure, failure, and more failure.

So I came to a seemingly rational conclusion: some people are cut out for relationships and others are not.

Seeing versus Believing: The Great Fitness Error

Just as I was about to quit and give up on relationships that’s when everything changed. My willingness to believe that things could be different enabled the unthinkable to happen: I succeeded.

It happened because despite my doubts I didn’t quit.

I went on a blind date and knew—in that very moment—everything I told myself was a lie. I didn’t know if I’d actually marry this girl (for the record I did), but I knew that the idea that I was just no good at relationships, couldn’t be happy, or wouldn’t find what worked for me was nonsense.

My past failures didn’t mean I wasn’t destined to succeed. It just meant that I had to be patient and wait for the right situation for me.

In many ways, you could substitute the every instance of the word “relationship” with “workout” or “diet.” The majority of people who have contacted me over the years or enter my online coaching program all start from the same place: A learned belief that no matter what they do, they can’t lose weight and are unable to see the type of body they want. More than a plan that works, they want an explanation or confirmation of their failure rather than a reason for hope.

Because we don’t see results—especially after repeated efforts—we don’t believe that our body is capable of changing.

Just as we expect the sun to set in the west, we expect that we will always be fat, unable to build strength or muscle, or live a healthier life.

We all have a breaking point. After you experiment with enough diets and workouts that don’t work—the same ones that you see work for other people—you begin to believe the problem isn’t the exercises or foods. You tell yourself that the problem is you.

I understand this frustration because I’ve been there before. Not just in relationships but in fitness. I spent 5 years toiling away, following the programs and advice of others, and genuinely believed that I would always be skinny fat. That is, until I opened my mind, learned more about science, and then started trying out proven techniques to see what worked best for me.

There was no cookie-cutter plan that would guarantee me success. It was about personalizing what works and applying it to my lifestyle, my schedule, and my goals.

In reality, finding a workout routine and a diet is no different than having success in a relationship. After all, this is a relationship with your health. But to make it work in the best way possible, you need to go on a few dates, struggle through some frustration, keep an open mind, and be willing to open up to new experiences. Most importantly, you have to be able to believe that things can change.

Genetics: The Fit Body Fallacy

In two of my most recent books, Man 2.0: Engineering the Alpha and The Men’s Health Big Book: Getting Abs, I explain why genetics are the ultimate equalizer. They will always play a very important role in the results you see. People that win the genetic lottery can have an easier time burning fat and building muscle, and might be able to eat fast food and still look incredible. It sucks, but that doesn’t mean your genetics prevent you from creating your own form of awesome.

In other words: just because something comes easier or harder, doesn’t mean that the end result can’t be the same.

Oftentimes when I’m working with clients who are struggling to see hope and believe in change, I use the analogy of comparing fitness to the journey of successful companies. Some companies are “blessed” and begin with large sums of money and lots of funding, while others can maybe start with a small loan—if any financial backing at all. The starting point is not an indicator of success.

The companies that start with more capital certainly have fewer barriers, but the path to success wasn’t any more guaranteed for them than anyone else. And those that have more barriers are capable of as much growth, success, and prosperity—if not more—than those who appeared to have it easier.

The lesson: Success is not inclusive. It’s open to those who can dream of the end goal and are willing to plug away and never quit until the vision is achieved.

Hacking Your Fitness and Diet Plan

You want to know the big “secret” of the health and fitness industry: Many approaches work, but sometimes you need to experiment more than you’d like to find the right formula. In many ways, that’s why people hire fitness coaches, trainers and nutritionists, or why you try a variety of programs you read in books or see in magazines. Sometimes, you have to date the different options until you find the right one. And once you do, everything changes.

When you find what works you understand why your previous failures were clearly mistakes, and why your current path will lead to the best version of yourself.

To help you find the best workout plan for you, I’m creating a series that will explain all of your different options to make this entire process easier. One of the biggest issues we face today is that we have so much information it’s hard to determine where we should start. So I’m going to create a live guide that will hopeful ease the process. From the best exercises to different workout splits (full body, upper/lower, high reps versus low reps), I want to provide you with several roadmaps.

I can’t guarantee which path will work for you, but I can make it easier for you to navigate.

If you’re looking for a clearer path, please leave a comment below and let me know what questions you have. It can be about a specific exercise or if training just 1 day per week can be done. And if you have diet questions, include those as well. Food is part of the equation, and that will certainly part of this project. Ultimately, I want this guide to be as comprehensive as possible.

Consider this the start of a new approach to your health. No guarantees. No false hopes. But one simple truth: If you believe finding a plan that works for your lifestyle is possible and keep searching for “the one,” you will find it. And when you do, you’ll be proud you didn’t stop trying.

Adam Bornstein

Adam Bornstein is a New York Times bestselling author and the author of You Can’t Screw This Up. He is the founder of Born Fitness, and the co-founder of Arnold’s Pump Club (with Arnold Schwarzenegger) and Pen Name Consulting. An award-winning writer and editor, Bornstein was previously the Chief Nutrition Officer for Ladder, the Fitness and Nutrition editor for Men’s Health, Editorial Director at LIVESTRONG.com, and a columnist for SHAPE, Men’s Fitness, and Muscle & Fitness. He’s also a nutrition and fitness advisor for LeBron James, Cindy Crawford, Lindsey Vonn, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. According to The Huffington Post, Bornstein is “one of the most inspiring sources in all of health and fitness.” His work has been featured in dozens of publications, including The New York Times, Fast Company, ESPN, and GQ, and he’s appeared on Good Morning America, The Today Show, and E! News.

The post The Great Fitness Error appeared first on Born Fitness.

Sure the hours appear great. And summers off are nice. But the illusion of a life of relaxation underscores the incredible amount of time it takes to prepare, teach, grade, and then prepare some more. Toss in stressful interactions with students and parents, and teachers find themselves in the frustrating position of so many others: Early mornings, late nights, and very little time in between.

Add to it a salary structure that few would call comfortable and food services (offered by schools) that have been fattening up children for the last few decades, and you have perfect storm of unhealthy.

(I can hear the heads nodding.)

I know this because I’ve been a teacher. My mom is a teacher. My wife’s mom is a teacher. And many of my friends have chosen the education route.

After years of being asked the same questions and seeing the same problems pop up in education, I decided help was needed.

Why Teachers Struggle with Fitness

I wanted to understand why educators struggled with their health when most teachers are inspired by a desire to set a positive example and lead. Typical areas of blame such as “laziness” or “lack of desire” should be tossed out. Like anything in life, this isn’t about labeling people as a certain way; it’s about identifying the circumstances that serve as a catalyst and reason for undesired behaviors.

Most teachers I know bust their ass and work extremely hard without much acknowledgement or appreciation. So putting in effort isn’t the issue; educators know efforts. Instead, it’s a matter of identifying the roadblocks. With that in mind, I started spending more time speaking with teachers to understand the real issues that limited healthy efforts. My initial areas of focus were simple:

1. I tried to determine the breakpoints that made eating the right foods so difficult
2. I interviewed teachers to find out just how much time they had to exercise and what would make that process a little easier to squeeze into their day.

I took it all together and then started designing programs for the educators of the world. They came in all shapes and sizes—just like students—and my job was to teach and lead them to better health.

I tested the programs on a group of 10 teachers. It was a small sample size, but it was a all that was needed to start. Like most coaching programs, the assistance went a long way towards changing physical appearance. But the the benefits of eating better and finding a practical way to squeeze in quality exercise paid off in other ways. The 10 teachers all reported:

• Having more energy for life inside and out of the classroom
• The ability to function the way they want and thereby perform the way they want at their job. Coffee wasn’t abandoned but it was no longer a lifeline
• The feeling that they were setting a better example for their students
• A general sense of feeling better about themselves and their lives.

Be Teacher Fit

While the years of working with teachers was rewarding, I sensed that more could be done. So I took the lessons from the teachers, surveyed a larger group, and then designed a comprehensive health and fitness program for an occupation that seems like it was ignored and priced out of receiving health assistance.

I’m not someone who makes excuses, but I’m also a realist: Teachers can’t possibly afford high-end personal training that could cost hundreds each month, spend money on groceries, and afford a gym membership when they might be making $25,000 per year (or less).

My findings came down to 3 simple conclusions:

1. Teachers need a guide that simplifies healthy eating in a way that fits into their busy schedule. For most, snacking all day won’t work. Neither will cumbersome meal plans or lots of time spent cooking.
2. Exercise needs to be efficient and focused and planned around the teacher’s schedule.
3. Support is necessary. Work builds up quickly for teachers, and the first thing to falter is usually personal health because no infrastructure exists to help protect it.

To solve for this problem, I created the Teacher Fit Program. The elements were designed by teacher’s needs and built for their lifestyle.

The program consists of 2 components:

1)   The Teacher Fit Healthy Guide (FREE)

When you sign up below, you’ll be sent a free guide to eating and living better. This isn’t your typical approach of counting calories or stressing about multiple meals. It’s a practical guide that shares what you need to know about eating, meal planning, creating a healthy menu, and determining what types of exercise can work for you.

In talking to teachers it became very clear that the basic understanding of the minimum effective dose was not clear. Now, the information you need is all stored in one place to help you live a healthier life.

2)   The Teacher Fit Fitness and Nutrition Program 

The hardest thing for teachers is spending more time figuring out what to eat, how to exercise, and receiving the support they need to live the way they want—all at a cost they can afford. To solve for this, The Teacher Fit Program simplifies the approach and offers a comprehensive program at a price that most teachers can afford. When you join this community specifically designed for teachers you receive:

• Private 1-on-1 help from a Born Fitness Coach that will work with you towards your goals.
• Access to a messaging system so you can have help at any time.
• A new training program sent to you each week so you know exactly what to do. These are efficient programs designed for your schedule. (We build programs for a gym or a workout you can in your home)
• Diet Help and Nutrition Plans, customized to your individual goals
• Recipes and food choices to help fuel your body and feel satisfied
• Access to a private community of teacher’s all working towards similar goals with community support from Born Fitness coaching

Joining The Program

The Teacher Fit Program was designed specifically for teachers to remove the barriers and empower anyone in the education space to look and feel the way they want.

To join the movement, simply fill out the form below and you’ll be sent your free guide and receive more information so you can join the program. Like most courses, enrollment will happen in cohorts. I’ll be accepting applicants for only one week, and then you’ll be moved to a waiting list that will be revisited each month. So if you want to join, send in your application now.

It’s time to arm teachers with what they need to be the change and take back their health.

Adam Bornstein

Adam Bornstein is a New York Times bestselling author and the author of You Can’t Screw This Up. He is the founder of Born Fitness, and the co-founder of Arnold’s Pump Club (with Arnold Schwarzenegger) and Pen Name Consulting. An award-winning writer and editor, Bornstein was previously the Chief Nutrition Officer for Ladder, the Fitness and Nutrition editor for Men’s Health, Editorial Director at LIVESTRONG.com, and a columnist for SHAPE, Men’s Fitness, and Muscle & Fitness. He’s also a nutrition and fitness advisor for LeBron James, Cindy Crawford, Lindsey Vonn, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. According to The Huffington Post, Bornstein is “one of the most inspiring sources in all of health and fitness.” His work has been featured in dozens of publications, including The New York Times, Fast Company, ESPN, and GQ, and he’s appeared on Good Morning America, The Today Show, and E! News.

The post The Teacher Fit Program appeared first on Born Fitness.